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A letter about transforming if you're stuck on a never-ending cycle of self sabotage

This is a letter about transforming yourself. Four years and four months on, I forget what it was like in those first few days of not wanting to drink alcohol anymore and what it was like trying desperately not to. I forget the mental gymnastics that used to be applied to my own thinking on a daily basis. I recently took myself back to those early days. And by this I only mean mentally, don't worry, no relapse here. I took myself back as a reminder of what it was like. I didn't stay there for long, only long enough to remind myself so I can be in best service of others. Getting really honest with myself, and admitting I had a problem, and that I needed help, took many years to reach. Many years of gripping on and staying sober only to start again with just one drink, after thinking that I was ‘better now’. With what I know now, I can help others get there sooner. That one drink always turned into another with thoughts like: 'another one won't hurt' ‘three drinks is normal, right?’ ‘what is the point of only having one?’ ‘I’ve started now, so I may as well carry on' ‘too late, I’ve broken the sober streak, may as well get smashed' Then the sick sweaty sadness of the next morning. The ‘never agains’ all over again. Someone asked me recently ‘what made you stop in the end?’ My answer: I got so bored of my own shit. I got so bored of the never agains. I got so bored of the same tired old cycle. It was exhausting and so bloody boring!! Getting honest is the first step. Accepting that for me, one is too many and hundreds is never enough. And this first step of honesty can be applied to more than just alcohol. It can be anything that you are trapped in a cycle of doing again and again. Anything where you are so bored of your own shit.

If you're ready to get really honest with yourself about what is holding you back then that is the time to work with me. If you're ready to accept the things you can't change, but you have the courage to face and take a good hard look at what you can change, and you have the courage to change the things you can, then you're ready.

The wisdom to know the difference will be strengthened by doing the work.

I can help you and I would love to work with you, but only when you're ready and willing to do the work. Just like you don't get fit by hiring a personal trainer, you get fit by doing the training, you don't change by hiring a coach, you change by doing the work. If you're ready to put the effort into that joyful journey, then I am right here for you.

But only then.

So, if you're bored of the going around in the same circles, then I would love to work with you.

Together we can uncover what is keeping you on that roundabout that you so desperately would like to get off.

I know you know how to get off it, the question I can help you with, is why aren't you doing it?

This will involve the deeper inner work necessary to make real lasting change to set you on the path you want to be on rather than going round in those same circles.

I can't promise you it will always be easy, but I can promise you it will be worth it.

Are you ready for a whole new chapter?

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